I'm in Africa.

Whenever I blog, it's generally after something really great!
“hey guys this really awesome thing happened and i'm so happy about it!!”

There have been low points before, but they were always canceled out by the high ones. There have been only low points in Kenya. I think maybe I would feel more comfortable if I had known anything about what I'd be doing or where I'd be staying or the layout of the city...I can think of a million “if only”s:

if only I had known where I would be staying,
if only I had chosen a city with a big tourist draw so it would have a touristy area,
if only I had known that the biggest slum in Kenya would be in my backyard,
if only I had known that there is a guesthouse but no schools nearby so I won't be staying there,
if only I had known that where I'm staying there will be nearly no other volunteers.
And the list goes on...

There are other ways to see the world and to mature that don't involve 1500 dollar plane tickets and 8-12 hour time differences from your family. I think I've decided that going home for Christmas was the best thing ever, but also the worst. I never thought I'd be the homesick type. Cambodia—no problem ever. But this trip is just so different. I'm closer to the US than Cambodia, but I feel a million miles farther. I can't sit around and think about this all day, though, otherwise I go crazy—so, here's how I ended up here finally:

After an 8 hour layover in London, finally boarded a plane straight into Nairobi and conveniently had an unoccupied seat next to me so I had a bit of extra room. When I arrived, Tom picked me up. I think he's the airport pick-er-up-er for Waltz organization. He took me to Lucy's house, the lady who i'll be living with for the next who knows how long. She's really generous and pleasant to be around---and fluent in English. When Tom and I arrived at her house, she was at work but John was there to greet me. He and a friend finished setting up a bed in my room, meanwhile I took an 8 hour nap in Lucy's room and balled my eyes out trying to be as quiet as possible. Crying so isn't worth it when you can't make noise...kinda defeats the whole purpose of it. It's like suppressing a sneeze. When I woke up, she had come home from work and was chatting with John. We did brief introductions and then he headed home.

Lucy and I spent the evening together, made dinner, watched some Oprah and her favorite soap opera, and went to sleep relatively early. It was nice spending time with her, eating local food, literally living the life of a local Kenyan. And see nothing's wrong here: I have good food, my own bed, friendly people to chat with. But then I imagine myself doing it for 5 months...I have to shake off whatever's putting a gloom over this trip. Just because it's not Cambodia, doesn't mean that it can't be equally as fantastic.