Every moment I'm by myself all I can think about is home.

I don't want to be a quitter...people come to Africa every day and have the time of their lives. Lucy is really such a sweet lady..I really enjoy my evenings with her cooking dinner, watching Kenyan soap operas, and chatting about anything.

--Lol oh, last night I made dinner. Good lord. I figured that you can't mess up Ramen, right? So, two packs of Ramen, 1 egg, 2 carrots all chopped up, some African spices...it was more like noodle mush haha don't ask how it happened, but she tried her best to eat it lol so I think we've decided that she'll cook and I'll clean up haha--

It's not that I miss anything specific....it's hard to explain. I think I just miss America in general...which is bizarre because although I've always been proud to be an American, i've never been overly patriotic. Like, i'll sing the national anthem or whatever but I avoid tshirts with red, white, and blue tie dye (lol...yes, you know who you are! :] ) but every time I see a girl with USA earrings or a dude wearing a shirt that says US ARMY (which is surprisingly common) my heart skips a beat. It's different to miss your family or your house than it is to miss your country...and I miss it. It's draining being surrounded by strangers, and unfamaliar foods, and dirty places, and strange languages. I can nap all I want but I wake up exhausted.

I'm ready for college, too. In Cambodia I tried to convince myself that I'd much rather be traveling the world and doing huge things than going to college, but as far as I can tell from friends, college rocks. And going to college doesn't bring the end of “changing the world”.....there's so much to do in the States. There is poverty everywhere.

Cambodia and Africa were half to give my all to help others, and half to displace myself and learn about another culture. I've learned and going back to America isn't the end of helping others. Maybe in 2 weeks everything will be different and I'll never leave Kenya...but right now, even if I were really really enjoying every minute, I think I'd be ready to go anyway. Man, I wish it weren't like that though...I didn't expect to feel this way and it's so disappointing...I was talking to Maura about this the other day: there is no way to describe how hard this trip is unless you're explaining it to someone who's done it already. ---It is just so, so hard. Like a big, fat punch to the face with no one around to hand you some ice.

Yesterday was nice, though. I spent a long time in the afternoon walking around by myself....I admit that I was lost for a while, but I had a general sense of where I was...ish. I walked through the “rich” neighborhoods and passed the slum near my house. It was sunny and nice, and now I know my way around the district pretty well. Or, at least I know my way from the supermarket and Waltz offices to my house. It was nice to spend my afternoon doing something else than reading or studying Swahili or sleeping. And, when Lucy came home from work she gave me a Kenyan cooking lesson: Kenyan stew = delicious.

And today is my first day of work! I went to school at 8 this morning and was figured into their pre-existing schedule. I am officially the Creative Arts teacher, Miss Jen. I teach music and art...there's a book that I can look to for guidance but its so...ridiculous. The first exercises are of drawing scenes like “Draw a picture of a teacher caning a student for failing a test. The student should have tears in his eyes and blood on his hands” and i'm like...uhhhhhh what?! So, I'm gonna come up with my own stuff. I mean, there's no exam for music and art so whatever...but I'm not having them draw pictures of me beating them.......no.

I was a bit surprised that I wasn't teaching English or Math like the principal had said on Wednesday. And, because I'm only teaching those subjects, I have a really light schedule. Mondays I only have one 40 minute class, tuesdays and fridays are from 11:30 to 3:10, then wednesdays and thursdays are pretty mild, too.

I asked the principal if I could teach anything else, but they already have teachers...paid professional ones. There are 2 math teachers, 3 english teachers, 2 science teachers, at least 1 social studies teacher, and a couple Swahili teachers. That's the downside of working at a private school---they don't really need help. Help is always nice but they'd be good with or without me.

But....I didn't come to Africa to have free time until a forty minute class in the afternoon...then more free time. There's a gym across the street that I'll join to hopefully meet some people. But I am not going to let my time in Africa be spent sitting around the house. I could see myself doing this for a month or two, but after that I'm either going to change project locations or to go home and get a job. I could do tons of volunteer stuff around Augusta...I saw a commercial on tv for Habitat for Humanity that reminded me of our snr project and how it was one of the most fun things I've ever done...so I could get a job during the week and do Habitat on the weekends....there're so many ways to spend time.

On a different note, though, I've had a blast hanging out with Lucy in the evenings. I'm not sure what we're gonna do tomorrow (Saturday) but she sounded like she wanted to hang out.....which would be awesome :) I asked her about the Giraffe Sanctuary in Nairobi, whether or not it's worth going to, and she said, “oh sure we'll go check it out some weekend soon” which was really sweet. We're friends...not just people forced to live together. And, last night another American volunteer came in really late so he stayed at Lucy's with us for the night. It was fun having company even for one evening.

The other dude volunteer who's gonna be staying at our house for like 3 weeks arrives next week sometime. John had said that he was young and chill, but then I found out he's a doctor so he can't be that young. And because he's a doctor, he'll be working at a different project...not that I would need help with my art classes. So, we'll do different things during the days then spend evenings together with Lucy, and hopefully do some cool things on the weekend. AND the couple from Canada arrived yesterday to volunteer for 2 months. They seem really cool so hopefully I'll be able to spend time with them on weekends, too. I'd love to go to Uganda and Tanzania safari-ing around East Africa. The trip takes less than a week and is pretty cheap (which is always nice).

I'm going to make the absolute most of my time here and I know teaching art is going to be SO fun, but not as rewarding as teaching an actual subject would be. Like I said, time is so valuable and I need to feel like I'm making a difference...or at least doing something useful. Plus, the kids don't need 5 months of art lessons from someone who isn't that good at drawing haha

Time to make a sandwich to take to school for lunch. Kenyan specialty: peanut butter, honey, and sugar.....mmmmmmm!

PS – Tara, expect a message soon needing fun art class ideas--it's been a while since Intro to Art! I'm giving them Friday Sketches for homework! =)